far away
by dripdropop
Summary: It was all so sudden. She was caught up in a whirlwind of feelings that weren't supposed to be there. She'll get over him though. Of course she will. Just a little more time. But for now, she let herself go and admired the one that made her heart flutter, Natsu Dragneel.


**far away.**

He appears, walking into the cafeteria with his group of friends, an iridescent shine etched on to every aspect of his wonderfully sculptured face. He laughs and runs a hand through his pink locks, throwing his head back in pure joy.

She looks at him and-

Oh.

She looks at him and the world just stops, everything all in slow motion. The surroundings are all blurry, with the only focus being him. A look of longing creeps onto her face. She proceeds to stare for a solid five seconds before she realises she was staring. She was way too obvious. And she looks down at her plate of half eaten food, picking at it dejectedly, hoping that neither him nor his friends had seen her.

Then _she_ enters. She strolls in with grace and captures the attention of every student in the room. Like the epitome of beauty, Lucy Heartfilia makes her grand entrance. But she was only looking for one thing. One person, to be exact. With her golden flowing locks and perfect smile, she lightly settles down next to Natsu Dragneel and he immediately brightens up, with all his attention trained on her. They then start chatting animatedly. It's like a halo surrounds the both of them.

And oh how Lisanna hurts.

She refuses to accept anything, insistent that it is nothing. No, she did not fall for someone blatantly unavailable. No, there is no fluttering in her chest and her heart is not thumping and her blood is not rushing and her eyes are not wide with awe of the mere appearance of him-

but deep down, she knows that it's not true.

Despite feeling so conflicted, defeated and so against all these feelings, she cherishes all her small moments with him because every time he opens his mouth to talk to her the world melts away and nothing is more significant than the onyx eyes she would be staring into. His smooth, cheerful voice would finds its way into her ears and suddenly, that is the only sound she wants to hear for forever.

Those moments where she had made him laugh were her favourite. His head thrown back and eyes shining, smile across his cheeks, whites showing. A sense of contentedness would then fill her. She made him smile, made him laugh. She would be laughing too. It was automatic. Uncontrollable. Every time he stops laughing and looks at her, then burst out laughing again, she remembers every moment. She would laugh till her cheeks ached and bent over with her stomach in pain. These pockets of time filled with pure joy.

Every time he smiles at her, she just feels herself combusting.

And every second spent with him was absolutely lovely. It was full of sunshine and butterflies and so very undoubtedly bright. He is a shining flower in her gloomy life and he barges into her mind with his warmth and smile and hair and just-

Everything.

He made her feel like spring.

He makes her feel like spring. Like a breath of fresh air. Like watching the first snow. Like ice on a hot summer day or being curled up in front of the fireplace in the middle of winter all at the same time.

And she thinks that he is absolutely stunning. With his bright pink locks contrasting with the specks of emerald in his big, dark oynx eyes, along with his beautiful smile and incredibly sharp jaw-line; his white-scaled scarf wrapped around his neck and his muscular arms at his side; his calves showing every time he wore shorts made her eyebrows shoot up every time she saw him grace the school grounds. He was a sight to see indeed.

She is simply unable to help herself. He was always around for her to look at and so she looked. And looked. And she can only look. Nothing will happen, and she knows it. She never will pluck up the courage to start texting him and never will be able to say a simple "Hey" when he passes without stuttering and messing it up.

She will be leaving in a few months, just the right time for these feelings to pop up to fill her with confusion and longing. There is no chance that anything will be able to happen. And there is absolutely no way that he harbours any sort of feelings for the blonde. No way at all.

Of course, he is right there and all she has to do is to go up and say "Hi."

She could just text him. But she did not.

She is simply too shy to do so. And she hates it. He probably doesn't even notice her. She's probably annoying to him and in the way. All she wants is for these unwelcomed feelings to go away. She hates feeling like that. She hates thinking of possible outcomes that were good, of them going on adventures and dates, and of him ever accepting her.

Lisanna Strauss just very much wanted to be a part of Natsu Dragneel's life. She wanted to be able to just talk to him with ease, and maybe have the chance of him considering her as a friend. Not that he is unfriendly, she thinks that he's an absolute sweetheart. But talking to him requires courage, with is something Lisanna has nothing of. There is the obvious enviousness of Lucy's charisma and confidence, so beautiful both inside and out. And Lisanna admires her for that.

She goes home and every thought will be invaded by him and she just wishes he could materialise in front of her and tell her that it's okay to be feeling like that. But he doesn't.

Every song, every story, every dance that she comes across is plagued by his presence. Even though she barely interacts with him, but she can just imagine how it will be like if she somehow manages to talk to that ball of happiness everyday, if she ever will dance with him under the stars like in her dreams and if she somehow manages to make him smile everyday. That would be an accomplishment.

And it may seem borderline creepy to be thinking of all these thoughts that should not be ever be thought of, but she couldn't help it.

At first, when he pops into her mind, she start smiling and grinning and is so very sure that her dull blue eyes lights up. But it's then followed by the horror of it, she will then try to brush it off with disgust and why oh why can't she just get over him?

She will sigh and shake her head in defeat. Maybe day by day she is coming to accept it and surely one day, she would be completely over him.

But for now, she can only look.

And she unknowingly looks forward everyday for a mere glimpse of him to make her day a tad bit better. When he come into her line of sight, a sense of relief settles in and the familiar feeling of just stomping up to greet him with a simple good morning comes back. She doesn't do that, of course. Every instance when he appears in front of her in school, she will let herself stare. And she will let herself think of him. When she look back at him, however, sometimes, he would be staring into her direction with his head cocked to the side and with an eyebrow raised and maybe, he knows.

Of course he knows. It is so very obvious.

But that's okay. It's okay, because it will be over soon. He will be disappearing from her mind. She just needs time. She just needs time to sort everything out and make everything less confusing. Her thoughts had been all over the place. It was like a maze trying to navigate through her mind. It was hard thinking straight, and of anything at all, when all she could think of was and is still now-him and his thousand-watt smile that made galaxies explode and arrows pierce through her heart. She tells herself that it will be over soon, she hopes.

But for now,  
this very moment she is gazing longingly at him in the cafeteria:

_I love you, Natsu Dragneel._


End file.
